Perfect
by Loti06
Summary: About seven or so years in the future everyone has grown up a little...as things seem to be moving along smoothly..something comes up threatening relationships and lives.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy is not mine- too bad.

Rating: KT  
Summary: So for right now its just some fluff- but I promise a story line will develop. Things aren't always perfect.

* * *

"Your turn," Meredith said sleepily pushing against her husband's bare shoulder.

"Hmm?" Was the sleepy and incoherent reply.

"I got up at two, now it's your turn to deal with the child that never sleeps," Meredith turned and tossed the baby monitor at him.

"Ouch! What happened?" Derek sat up rubbing is head where the monitor had hit him.

"We had sex two years ago and eight months later Kieran was born and now he is up again… it's your turn. That's what happened," Meredith responded rolling over and covering her eyes realizing she had only forty five minutes before she would have to get up and start getting the kids ready.

She heard Derek sigh and turn to face her,

"He has to be up in hour anyway… let's just let him be and maybe…" Derek kissed Meredith shoulder.

Meredith giggled and pushed him away

"Us maybe-ing until one this morning is why I am so exhausted,"

"It was fun though," Derek replied over his shoulder as he got out of their bed and walked out of the room.

Meredith closed her eyes once again only to open them at the annoying buzzing coming from her clock.

_What! I've only been asleep for a second._

Picking her head up she looked at the time _4:45_

"Guess not," pulling herself out of bed she made her way to the adjoining bathroom and started the shower and proceeded to get ready for the morning.

Pulling open one of her drawers she found her favorite pair of scrubs and slipped them on. Hearing Derek in the shower she looked at the clock _5:30_,

"Derek hurry up we need to be on time today!" She called as she walked into her son's room.

"Andy, bubba come on baby. It's time to wake up," she said sitting down on his racecar bed rubbing her five year olds' back.

The little boy stretched and turned over to face his mother while rubbing his eyes.

"It's so early," he mumbled.

"I know baby, but why don't you get up, get dressed, brush your teeth, and when you go downstairs Daddy can make you some chocolate milk and toast?" Meredith offered running her hand through his thick curls.

"Yeah, ok." He replied starting to get up.

Meredith smiled and kissed his forehead before standing and walking out of the room and down and across the hall to the next door.

Opening the door she was greeted with the soft glow of a night-light illuminating the lavender wall it was plugged into.

Walking over to the white canopy bed in the center of the room she softly sat down on the lavender bedding next to her sleeping daughter.

"Lillana, come on little girl, time to get up,"

The three year old yawned before pulling the covers over her head.

Meredith smiled at the game they played every morning.

"Oh no! Where did my Lilly go?" She exclaimed

She heard a giggle and the little girl's brilliant blue eyes peeked out over the top of her blankets.

"I see you…" Meredith laughed as she leaned down and tickled the little girl.

Laughing Lilly kicked off the blankets and stretched.

Walking over and opening her daughter's closet, Meredith grabbed a pair of jeans, a pink shirt with flowers on it and looking out the window determining it would be another cold, windy, and rainy November day she also pulled the small Dartmouth sweater off its hanger.

"Ok girlie let's get you out of these and into some clothes,"

Meredith changed her daughter into clothes for the day and put socks on her little feet.

"Ok baby, go potty and don't forget to wash your hands, then I want you to call down to me when you're ready to come down. Ok?"

Lilly nodded as Meredith turned and continued down the hall to her youngest child's room.

Kieran sat on the floor playing with blocks. Once she walked in he looked up at her and smiled waving at her.

"Well hey bub. Daddy must have gotten you ready already. Ready for breakfast?" She asked scooping him.

Kieran nodded and leaned his head on Meredith's shoulder.

Walking downstairs she smiled as she heard Andy and Derek talking animatedly.

"…and then the quarter was gone! And I even checked his pockets Dad!" Andy exclaimed taking a big bite of his toast.

"Checked whose pockets?' Meredith asked placing Kieran in a high chair and surveying the scene in front of her. Andy sat at the table dressed in his favorite Spider Man shirt his dark curls a mess on the top of his head. Smiling she made her way to the fridge stopping to kiss Derek.

"Uncle Preston's," Derek replied watching his wife prepare Kieran's breakfast.

"Ah, did he do his quarter trick for you again?" Meredith asked Andy kissing the top of his head as she made her way over to Kieran.

"Yeah last night right before you picked me up from Aunt Christina and his house,"

Meredith nodded and reflected on the past eight years since she had first come back to Seattle. After choosing Derek they had been off and on dancing around each other before giving in. A year later during her first year of Residency they had been married.

Much had changed in seven years since, Christina and Burke had married a year after they had and had had a little boy Lilliana's age, George and Callie had been off and on for a couple months before finally pulling it together and had been engaged for the past year. Izzie and Alex… well after Denny, Izzie wasn't quite sure where to turn and through their close circle of friends had found a way out of her pain- Alex somehow had been the one to offer the most strength though.

Meredith laughed a little thinking about how different Alex was. Izzie was his everything and vise versa. Izzie didn't know it yet but this weekend on their three year mark Alex planned to propose. Christina warned him it would be cheesy to no end but it will be perfect for Izzie.

"What's so funny?" Derek grinned at her. Meredith went to open her mouth when Lilly called down.

"Mommy?"

"I got it,' Derek replied.

For a three year old Lilliana Grace Shepherd was one of the most independent people Derek knew, but she was three and still little. Last Christmas she had fallen hard on the wood stairs in a hurry to catch up with her older brother and his rush to get to presents causing her to fracture her ankle. Now Derek and Meredith didn't even take a chance. When it came to going up or coming downstairs Lilly had to wait until one of them opened up the baby gates at the top and bottom of the stairs.

Stopping at the bottom of the stairs to open the gate Derek looked up to see his daughter slowly climbing over the gate.

"Hey!' he exclaimed

"Good Morning Daddy," she said as she got one leg over the side of the gate and tried pulling the other with it but getting it caught on the handle, losing her balance and falling forward.

"What did Mommy and I tell you about the gate?" Derek asked taking the stairs two at a time catching her before she hit the hard wood.

Lilly looked up guiltily,

"I know but Daddy…"

Derek held his daughter close kissing her forehead,

"Daddy nothing. You don't want to have to go see Aunt Callie at the hospital again do you?" He asked taking her down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"No," the little girl answered wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Good me either, now where is my morning kiss?"

Giggling Lilly lifted her head and kissed his stubbly cheek.

"Ewww," she exclaimed.

"What's ewww?" Meredith asked setting down toast and milk for her daughter as Derek sat her down in her booster chair.

'Daddy has owies on his cheek,"

Meredith smiled at Derek and put her hand to his cheek slowly rubbing her thumb over it.

"He does doesn't he?"

Derek gave her his McDreamy smile before taking her hand and kissing it.

"Gross!" Andy exclaimed.

Lilly smiled and Kieran repeated after his brother.

Smiling Meredith checked the time.

"6:15 everyone we have fifteen minutes!" She said cleaning up Kieran's bowl.

"Andy, go brush your teeth, Derek can you get Kier's shoes and Lilly baby hurry up so we can brush your teeth and put your shoes on,"

Working together like a well oiled machine Derek and Meredith had all three of their kids ready and out of the house by 6:30 and in the car on their way to the hospital.

"Mama, how long today?" Andy asked

Meredith sighed and looked at Derek.

"It's an overnighter tonight bub," Meredith answered.

Andy nodded,

"Everyone's working?" Lilly asked

"Yup we are all working," Derek answered looking into the review mirror.

"Which means…"

"Sleep over!" Kieran called from the back.

"Yup," Meredith and Derek replied as he pulled into his parking space in front of the hospital.

* * *

"Oh god, here comes the Brady Bunch," Christina Yang-Burke said allowed as the Shepherd children came running out of the elevator.

"Aunt Christina!" Lilly exclaimed running up to Christina. Bending down Christina picked the little girl up and sat her on the counter where she had been working on some case notes.

"Hey wild thing long time no see," Christina said. She would be the first to admit she never imagined her life to be the way it was. Surgery was all she used to care about, but now… now life was different.

After all they had all been through they managed to all be just as close as ever. Even after marriage and kids they managed their time well. Everyone switched off babysitting depending on schedules for the week. This particular week they got lucky, anytime she or Burke were working some one was off to take their three year old son Jason, the same for Meredith and Derek. Every child meant the world to the group, and though a pain in the ass sometimes everyone loved the three Shepherd children and Jason.

"Good morning," Meredith said leaning against the counter looking at Christina's cases for the day.

"You seem busy," Meredith noted flipping through the charts.

"Nah, I'm throwing the dirty work at the interns, all I have to do is operate,"

Cardio hadn't been her ambition in med school, but being married to one of the best Cardio surgeons in the nation had influenced her decision. Much like Meredith, who specialized in neurology.

"Can I watch?" asked Lilly who now had Christina's stethoscope and was checking the counter for signs of a heart beat.

"We'll see wild thing," Christina answered taking back the stethoscope.

Lilly nodded as Meredith picked her up and stood her back on the floor. Derek who had taken Kieran and Andy over to the OR board came back down to the nurses station.

"Ready little girl?" he asked as he took her hand and led her in the direction of the hospital day care.

Lilly smiled as she took her fathers hand and waved bye to Meredith.

"Jason feeling any better?" Meredith asked as she and Christina turned and made their way towards the locker room so Meredith could drop off her purse.

"No more fever, Burke and I decided he'd be fine to come back to daycare, just has the sniffles now but…"

Christina was interrupted by George and Callie's loud voices coming in the door,

"…wait so now we are saying the 16th?" George asked confused.

"No!" Callie exclaimed

"The twenty-sixth,"

"Of June?" George asked. Callie turned to him and glared.

"Seriously George, May… I have been saying May for the past month,"

George shrugged as stepped next to Meredith and opened his locker,

"Wedding date," he whispered to her.

"I figured," Meredith smiled at him.

"Anything good today?" George asked pulling his shirt over his head.

"Craniotomy in an hour and then a splint replacement at two. You?"

"Back to back cabbages until tonight," George responded.

"It's going to be a busy day," Meredith warned as she pulled her hair up in a clip.

George nodded and slammed his locker shut sitting down on the bench to tie his shoes.

"Oh George remember tomorrow night is at our place," she called out to him as she walked backwards out of the room.

"Oh yeah! We'll bring something!" He yelled back. It had taken almost a decade and numerous fights with Callie but George was finally getting over Meredith. He loved Derek and her kids to no end, hell, Derek had even become a good part of his life but still there was always that voice in the back of his head, but it was finally getting softer and softer.

* * *

Meredith leaned against the scrub room sink. Throwing her surgical mask into the trashcan she sighed as she watched the nurses wheel her patient out of the OR and into ICU.

Rubbing the back of her neck she stepped out of the OR for the first time in four and a half hours. The surgery on the seven year old girl had been difficult not just in that it was a tough surgery but since having kids any surgery on someone under the age of twenty-one was hard, especially a seven year old who was so close to Andy's age.

Stopping at the nurse's station to make some final notes in her patient's chart she felt arms come around her waist. Immediately she leaned against Derek's strong chest.

Kissing the back of her head his words were muffled against her soft hair,

"How'd it go?" he asked.

Nodding Meredith turned around in his arms,

"Good, she'll make a full recovery," she responded wrapping her arms around him.

Derek smiled and nodded his head. Just like Meredith anything involving children had become much more personal since his children were born.

"Please, can we break this up?' Alex Karev called as he made his way down the hall dropping a chart off.

Meredith smiled at him as she hugged Derek closer.

"Who is picking the munchkins up?" Alex asked flipping open another chart and reading it over.

Meredith and Derek looked at each other,

"I've got surgery in an hour," Derek said looking up at the clock. The daycare closed in two hours at eight.

"Um, I need to go talk to my patient's family, check on her and then do post ops," Meredith contemplated the time.

"I got it," Alex shut the chart he was looking over, "I'm done for the night except for some paperwork but I can go get them now, take 'em down to the cafeteria get them some dinner and we can all go hang out in the on call room,"

Meredith shook her head,

"Alex you are such a big help, but seriously I can take them,"

"No, it'll be fun, I haven't hung out with them since Sunday night when they were at Iz and my house. Plus I'm supposed to meet Izzie in the cafeteria in half an hour," Alex smiled and pocketed his pen as if the discussion was over.

"Ok, thanks that'll be a big help," Derek answered squeezing his wife's shoulders.

"Yeah, Alex you're great," Meredith answered visibly relieved.

"I know," Alex replied as Derek clapped his shoulder as he walked past to go check on his patient that was being prepped for surgery.

As Meredith walked away from the nurse's station Burke came up next to Alex as he gathered the work he would do in the on call room with the kids.

"Karev," Burke acknowledged his friend.

"Hey, I'm picking the kids up and taking them down to dinner. When was the last time Jason had his meds?" Alex asked knowing Christina probably had their son on some medication for his minor cold.

Burke smiled at his friends knowledge of how his wife dealt with colds, either take the drugs or don't whine was Christina's motto.

"I think Christina went down there around one, so seven should be a good time," Burke said. "Thanks for this,"

"Oh no problem I'll be bored by myself," Alex replied walking off towards the day care.

* * *

Wow so I really missed writing!!! I decided to start this off because I hadn't procrastinated in a while and would rather be doing this than my mid-term english paper... any way enjoy. I promise a story line will be forming! Have a great day everyone!

-Loti


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy is not mine- too bad.

Rating: KT  
Summary: So for right now its just some fluff- but I promise a story line will develop. Things aren't always perfect

* * *

"Dr. Karev," the day care coordinator greeted Alex as he stepped into the bright room and approached the desk to sign the Shepherd kids and Christina and Burke's son out.

"Hey Susan," Alex greeted spotting all four kids.

Taking his bottom lip and squeezing it he whistled to get their attention.

All four turned and looked towards the familiar sound.

"Uncle Alex!" Andy shouted running over to Alex and grabbing onto his hand.

"Hey dude, high five," Alex kneeled down to greet the little boy. Raising his hand Andy smacked the raised hand hard. Jason came up next slapping his other hand imitating Andy. Lilly skipped over, Kieran not far behind her. Once Lilly skipped over to him Alex stood up swooping her up lifting her shirt a little he blew hard on her stomach tickling her and causing her to shriek with giggles. Kieran tugged at his pant leg to get his uncle's attention.

Putting Lilly down Alex picked Kieran up and turned to look at him,

"You hungry?" he asked the two year old. Kieran nodded quickly.

"All right lets go get dinner," he stated grabbing Jason's hand with his free hand as he walked out.

"Andy, hold your sister hand until we get to the cafeteria," Alex instructed the eldest boy.

Walking out of the room Alex stopped noticing Izzie who had been watching him through the glass window of the day care.

"Hey," she greeted her boyfriend smiling at the sight before her.

"Aunt Izzie, we are going to go eat dinner. Are you coming?" Lilly asked walking up to Izzie.

"Why yes I am," Izzie answered taking the little girl in her arms and picking her up.

Together Izzie and Alex walked the herd of children down to the cafeteria and prepared their plates.

* * *

Alex leaned over from his position on the small cot and kissed Izzie's neck, who giggled and promptly swatted him away.

"We can't do that here!" Izzie reprimanded him in a hushed whisper.

"Come on you don't think Burke and Christina do it like rabbits in the next room as Jay and you and I both know that Meredith and Derek hump like crazy all the time," Alex said rubbing his girlfriend's leg.

"Key word Alex, _next room_! We are only a bed over from Lilly, Andy is sleeping above us and Jason and Kier are across the room," Izzie whispered slapping his hand away again. Alex smiled at her in the dark and leaned over capturing her lips with his own.

Izzie sighed and gave in pushing the chart she was working on to the floor and moving closer to him and gently pushing him down on the cot.

Alex reached behind her head a pulled the pen that was keeping her hair in its messy bun out so that her hair fell down around them, a soft curtain to shield them from the world.

God, Alex loved her. She was his everything and he owed her for everything. They were a team who had leaned on one another when ever no one else seemed to know how it truly felt to hurt.

Alex carefully flipped Izzie over in order to make the least noise and movement possible. Kissing her he slowly slid his hands up her scrubs until the sound of the door knob turning and the door opening stopped him. Sitting straight up he smacked his head on the bottom of the bunk that Andy was sleeping on causing him to fall to the side and onto the ground.

"Oh Alex! I found it!" Izzie Exclaimed as she pulled at her shirt and ran over to the other wall where the pen Alex had taken out of her hair had somehow managed to land.

"Oh… um…good," Alex responded holding his head and looking towards the now open door.

Miranda Bailey stood in the open doorway surveying the mess before her, her left eyebrow cocked as if someone had stuck a fish hook in it.

"Now, I know you two weren't doing what it looks like with these four children in the room," she stated as she moved from bed to bed to check on each sleeping child.

"Dr. Bailey!" Izzie exclaimed trying her best to look astonished at the claim.

Bailey just waved her hand at her to get her to be quiet as she brushed wisps of Lilly's dark locks that had fallen out of the braid Izzie had done for her out of her face.

"So much like her mother," Bailey whispered studying the child's bone structure and hair texture.

"Yet so much like her father," Bailey chuckled when the little girl opened her deep blue eyes and yawned.

"Hey little one," Bailey greeted as she pulled the blanket up over the child's shoulders. She was a sucker for kids.

"Hi Miranda," Lilly gave a small smile before turning and falling fast asleep again.

Izzie stood on her tip toes and checked on Jason tucking him in and then moved to Kieran.

Alex stood and stretched picking the forgotten chart Izzie had dropped up and putting it on the cot they had sat on when the sound of three pagers going off made all three sigh and reach for their waistband to pull the small plastic box that seemed to govern their lives off it's clip and read what it had to say.

"Wonderful," Izzie muttered as she grabbed the chart.

"Do you think they'll…" Alex started

"They'll be fine," Bailey answered him as she ushered him out of the room and quietly shut the door before running after the other two doctors down to the ER.

* * *

Meredith kicked the scrub room door open and screamed. Tearing off her cap and mask she flung them into the garbage can. Next she roughly removed her gloves and turning on the sink faucet she shoved her hands into the steaming water, not caring how bad it burned.

She had tried. She had tried desperately to save the young man on her table. He had to have been no older than twenty five, but his gun shot wound was too severe. Looking up she watched as the nurses covered his body and wheeled him out of the room. Twisting the faucet knob she shut of the water and roughly grabbed some paper towels and dried her hands. All she wanted to do right now was squeeze her children and never let go.

Finding out she was pregnant the first time was one of the happiest yet scariest times of her life. She knew that Derek and her fast paced lifestyle would have to slow down, she also knew what happened to surgeons who got pregnant to soon, but with Derek's support and love as well as the rest of the group she managed to stay on top and even after three kids she continued to be one of the nest neurologists in the state next to Derek, but right now that was besides the point because all that mattered to her were her babies. She had surprised herself on how quickly having Andy, then Lilly, and the Kieran all of who were wonderful surprises- the best she had ever had, had changed her. She was a mother now and that was top priority.

Meredith stepped out of the room and looked up and down the hall for anyone familiar. Seeing that it was clear she sighed and walked down the hall to the closed on call room door.

Opening it quietly she didn't dare turn on the lights, but the soft glow that illuminated the room from the outside hall revealed both Burke and Christina. Christina lay asleep hugging her son close while Burke lay on the empty bed beneath Andy fast asleep. Smiling she noticed that Kieran and Lilly laid together in the same bed- something Kieran often did when he wasn't in his crib. He loved being next to someone.

Taking a deep breath Meredith climbed up onto her son's bed careful not to wake Burke.

Andy turned over and opened his eyes,

"Mama?" he questioned.

"Shhh baby go back to sleep," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around him and laid her head next to his on the pillow closing her eyes and trying to let her failed surgery drift out of her mind. Andy willing obliged as he snuggled closer to her mother and fell back to sleep.

* * *

Derek rubbed his face. He was absolutely exhausted. Looking at the clock on the wall it read 4:00 AM exactly. Sighing he made his way to the on call room. He hadn't seen Meredith since before she went in emergency surgery for a gunshot victim.

Quietly opening the door he smiled seeing his daughter and younger son curled up on the same bed, Lilly at one end and Kieran at the other.

Scanning the room he noticed that Christina was asleep next to Jason, but Burke wasn't in the room. Moving towards his daughter he bent down and pulled the blanket she had kicked off up over her shoulders and kissed her cheek.

Standing up straight he looked for his older son. Seeing the bunk next to his daughter and sons he saw two figures curled up on the top bed.

Smiling he reached over to run his wife's back. Stirring Meredith turned over groggy and not quite sure of her surroundings.

"Hey," Derek whispered brushing her hair out of her face.

"What time is it?" Meredith asked

"About four ten in the morning," Derek replied stretching.

Meredith sighed she had been sleeping for an hour.

"Lets go home," Derek said as she helped her off the bed.

"Yeah," was all she said as she shook Andy and pulled him off the bed. Instantly the little boy wrapped his arms around his mothers neck and fell back to sleep.

"Ugh, your getting to big for me bub," she whispered as Derek pulled Lilly into one arm and Kieran into another.

Walking out of the room the two parents headed for the locker room where Meredith picked her purse up, along with Derek's things that he couldn't carry seeing as his hands were full.

The family exited the hospital for the day sure to be back in twenty four hours for yet another shift.

* * *

So that is Chap Two. This is different from what I have written before but its kinda nice to just write "stuff" sometimes. Hope it wasn't to horribly mushy hahaha. Anyway thanks so much for the great feedback. Don't worry things will start to pick up. Have a great day guys! 

-Loti


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy is not mine- too bad.

Rating: K-T

* * *

Meredith and Izzie cleared the table in the Shepherd's large kitchen as the rest of their friends moved into the living room to talk.

"Izzie dinner really was great," Meredith said as she moved plates from the table and onto the granite counter tops.

"Thanks, I figured I'd save everyone from a poorly made peanut butter and jelly sandwich," Izzie teased.

Meredith stopped and looked at her in mock shock at what she had just said. Izzie laughed as she turned the stainless steel sink's faucet on and gave the dishes a short rinse before setting them into the dishwasher.

"Where is dinner next Friday?" Meredith asked as she wiped the table and counters down.

"Our place I think," Izzie answered putting the last plate in the washer filling it with soap and closing the door.

Meredith nodded and the two moved into the spacious living room. The room was filled with laughter from its occupants. The wall to wall hard wood flooring and the giant fireplace with the fire in it made it all the better. The walls were painted a light beige and covered with pictures of all three Shepherd kids in different stages of their lives, as well as pictures of the group of friends.

Meredith smiled as she entered the warm room walking over to the arm chair Derek sat in and sitting down on the arm of the chair.

Derek rubbed his wife's back and pulled her onto his lap offering her his glass of wine.

"Thank you," she said taking the glass and sipping from it.

"You're very welcome," he responded as he continued to rub her back.

Meredith looked around the room at her friends…her family as they laughed and talked among themselves enjoying the company.

"Kids in bed?" she asked Derek

"Yup, Jason is asleep in the guest room; Preston just put him down,"

Meredith looked over at Izzie who had just taken a seat next to Alex. She loved knowing that in less than twenty-four hours Izzie was in for the surprise of a life time. The rest of the night the eight friends talked and laughed enjoying one of the last nights things would actually be calm.

* * *

"Mommy?" Meredith jerked awake and looked at the small child in front of her.

"What's wrong sweetie?" Meredith sat up trying not to wake Derek. Andy walked further into the room and crawled up onto his parent's large bed.

"I just went to the bathroom, and I was walking past Lilly's room and she is crying," Andy informed his mother concerned for his sister.

Meredith sighed, this happened often. Lilly was known to have horrible dreams. It was something she would grow out of but until then they not only haunted her but the other occupants in the house as well.

"You stay here," she instructed her son who nodded his head and laid down where she had just been.

Wrapping her arms around herself as she entered the cold hallway she quickly made her way down to her daughter's door.

The door, cracked open allowed Meredith enough visibility to see her daughter lying still in her bed whimpering. Meredith walked in and carefully climbed into the bed next to her daughter and took her in her arms.

Once she wrapped her arms around her daughter she was immediately alarmed. Taking her hand she pressed it on Lilly's forehead realizing that it wasn't a nightmare bothering her. Pulling her hand back to slowly woke Lilly up.

"Baby, wake up please," Meredith whispered.

Lilly opened her eyes and stared up at her mother.

"Hi baby, can you sit up please?" Meredith asked helping her daughter to a sitting position. Lilly started to cry as Meredith pressed her cheek onto the little girls forehead and cheeks and then felt the back of her neck.

"All right little girl, lay down, Mommy is going to go get the thermometer," Meredith said as she backed out of the room and down the hall to her own room. Walking through her bedroom she entered the bathroom. Opening the medicine cabinet she grabbed the thermometer and walked back out into her bedroom.

"Meredith? What's going on?" Derek asked sitting up in bed the sheets falling off revealing his shirtless chest.

"I think Lilliana is running a fever," Meredith answered. Derek was up immediately. Pulling on a shirt he walked with Meredith down to their daughter's room.

Entering the little girls room Derek and Meredith sat on either side of her bed. Derek held her on his lap as Meredith put the thermometer into Lilly's mouth.

"She didn't seem sick earlier," Meredith commented concern playing across her face as Lilly lay quietly waiting for the thermometer to beep telling her she could take it out of her mouth. Meredith knew as a doctor that a fever wasn't much too really worry about, but as a parent it scared her. Fevers were a sign of some sort of infection and the body trying to fight it off.

"She was pretty quiet tonight," Derek replied stroking his daughter's hair. Meredith sat there contemplating what her husband had said when the thermometer beeped.

Gently taking it out of Lilly's mouth Meredith read the small black digits,

"99.8," she read allowed.

"Ok, nothing to worry about. Just a low grade fever," Derek told Lilly but looking at Meredith.

"I'll go get you some water ok?" Derek asked the little girl. She nodded as he got up and walked out of the room and down stairs to the kitchen.

"Come on girlie lets get you in some cooler pajama's," Meredith said picking her daughter up and setting her on her feet in front of a chest of drawers.

Changing her and putting her back in bed, Meredith propped her pillows up so that she could easily drink the water Derek was bringing up.

Shortly after Derek came in the room with water in Lilly's favorite cup. The small child drank it quickly. Taking the cup Derek looked down at his little girl and frowned. He hated when they got sick, it made him feel powerless waiting for medication to kick in or a fever to break. It wasn't something he could physically fix like surgery.

Twenty minutes later Derek and Meredith left Lilly sound asleep in her bed after giving her children's cold medicine.

"The fever will break by morning," Derek reassured his wife as he kissed her temple.

Walking back into their room Derek picked Andy up out of Meredith's side of the bed and carried him into his own room. Exhausted he came back into the room and laid down wrapping his arms around Meredith. Looking at the clock he realized he had three hours before they had to be up.

"Derek," Meredith called out in the darkness.

"Hmm?" He replied sleepily.

"We can't take Lilly to my dad's tomorrow,"

Derek sighed, "Meredith she'll be fine,"

"No, I don't want her there if she is sick," Meredith replied. The three kids were going to be with her father for the day. Thatcher still wasn't around much but usually once a month he asked to have the kids for a couple of hours while Meredith and Derek worked to spend time with them.

"Plus, if she is sick I don't want the boys catching it or any of the other kids there to get it either," Meredith reasoned.

Derek tightened his arms around her and buried his face in her hair,

"Who is off tomorrow?" he asked

"Izzie and Alex aren't off until six, and then they're busy… Christina and Preston are working until four and then they are supposed to pick the kids up from my dad's and keep them over night, but I don't want Lilly to get Jason sick again or the boys. Callie is working until twelve, but I think George has tomorrow off," Meredith answered.

"We'll call George in the morning," Derek reassured her. Meredith nodded and tried to fall asleep.

* * *

"…oh! And here is her favorite bear," Meredith shoved another item into George's already full hands. George turned and dropped everything on his kitchen counter. He had watched Lillian Shepherd since she was three weeks old, but Meredith's 'dropping off' routine never failed.

Derek held his daughter close as he stood in George's kitchen watching Meredith go through Lilly's bag. Lilly shifted under the three blankets and the heavy rain coat she was wrapped up in to ward of the chill and the pounding rain outside. At six when he and Meredith had woken up, Lilly's fever hadn't broken but had spiked to 100.5. Derek hated leaving her but he had a job he was obligated to do as well and she would be in wonderful hands at George's place… well technically he and Meredith still owned the townhouse but George paid the rent.

After getting married Derek had done what he always dreamed of doing. Taking his land he had built a huge house for the two of them along with landscaped the front and back of the house tuning it into his and Meredith's dream home. It suited them and their kids well, plus George and Izzie had been able to stay in the townhouse until Izzie moved in with Alex and Callie had moved in with George.

Looking at the clock on the wall he realized that they had fifteen minutes to be at the hospital. They had already dropped the boys off at Thatcher Grey's and were now dropping Lilly off at Georges.

"Mere, we need to get going," Derek told his wife kissing his daughter's hot forehead.

"Ok," Meredith sighed turning to face Derek and taking Lilly out of his arms and into her own.

"Alright baby, Uncle George is going to take care of you until we get off of work, I love you pumpkin," she said to the little girl.

Lilly nodded sleepily. Derek came up and over Meredith's shoulder kissed his daughter's cheek running his hand over it.

Meredith reluctantly handed Lilly over to George who took her gently. Lilly closed her eyes and leaned her head on George's shoulder.

Derek took Meredith's hand and led her out into the hallway.

"Don't forget to give her that cold medicine at 11 George!" Meredith called from the door.

"I know Mere don't worry about it, we'll be fine," George replied looking down at Lilly.

Derek walked up to him,

"Page me if you need anything," he whispered before waving at Lilly and leading Meredith out into the pouring rain.

* * *

Derek looked at the clock _3:00 pm_ he had six more hours and then judging on whether or not something happened he would be off the clock. Meredith however was working towards her fellowship and had twelve more hours.

Standing at the nurses station he glanced over at the O.R. Board. Meredith had been in surgery for four hours and hadn't had time to call George all day, neither had he.

Thinking that he should, he reached over for the phone when his pager went off. Pulling it off the waist band of his scrubs he looked down at the screen.

"The Chief?" he wondered allowed.

Shrugging he headed towards the Chief's office. Knocking while open the door he smiled at Richard Webber.

"Richard," he greeted.

"Derek, how are you?" Richard asked looking up from a chart he was going over.

"Ok, waiting for this shift to be over. Lilly is home sick," Richard frowned and nodded before motioning Derek to take a seat.

"I got a call from Addison today," he started. Derek looked up,

"Really! How is she?" He asked he and Addison had moved on and begun a sort of friendship. She and Meredith had never warmed up to each other but at least got along.

"Good, she is well, but there she needs some help," Richard started

"What kind of help?" Derek asked apprehensive.

"She has a preemie, and he needs a splint. She said she would have some one in New York handle for her but it's a delicate procedure and she wants the best. I guess this child has been through enough already," Richard explained

"So she wants me to fly to New York and do this surgery?" Derek asked

"Yes, it would be three, four days tops," Richard tried to persuade him.

"What about Jenkins or Calhoun or…" Derek was cut off

"She wants the best of the best Derek and that is you," Richard sighed as he leaned forward on his desk. Derek sat back in his chair and let out a frustrated breath.

* * *

George held Lilly close as he tried to get her to go into the bathtub full of cold water.

"Uncle George its too cold!" she protested tears rolling down her face

"I know Lils but it will make you feel better," all day she had been shivering as her fever slowly jumped. Now at 101.9 George was getting worried.

"No! It hurts!" Lilly exclaimed as he lowered her into the tub.

"Lillian, sweetheart calm down," George tried to calm her down.

The little girl screamed and thrashed as George put her into the bathtub. Once in there she quieted and silent tears fell down her cheeks.

"Five minutes Lilly," George tried to calm her brushing the tears off her cheeks.

Five minutes later he unplugged the bathtub drain and wrapped the little girl up in a big towel drying her off and changing her into the extra pair of pajama's Meredith had packed.

Laying her down on the couch he turned on the TV to Cartoon Network where they were playing Scooby Doo as part of their afternoon programming.

Grabbing the thermometer off the coffee table he tried taking her temperature again.

"No!" Lilly pushed his arm away frustrated.

"Lillian Grace, I need you to be still and let me take your temperature," George warned. Hearing his tone Lilly complied and opened her mouth.

George stuck the thermometer under her tongue and waited. She had become a pro at taking temperatures in the past few hours.

George waited and once the device beeped he took it and read it. _102.5_.

That was too high. Looking at the clock it read 3:30. Lilly needed to go to the hospital something wasn't right.

* * *

Meredith walked out of the scrub room and towards the nurses station. She needed to call George and check on her daughter and then at five she needed to call Christina and make sure she had gotten the boys ok.

Walking up the counter she reached for the phone when her pager went off.

_911- George O'Malley- ER_.

In an instant Meredith was off and running down to the Emergency Room.

* * *

"Richard, I don't think you understand. I have a family, a wife and three small children. I can't just up and leave for a few days with no warning," Derek tried to reason.

"Derek I wouldn't be asking you if I thought there was a chance someone else would be able to do the surgery as well as you," Richard replied.

Derek sighed and ran is hands over his face and through his hair- a sure sign that he was frustrated.

"Look Derek, it's what Saturday? You leave tomorrow morning and you'll be back in town by Tuesday. Long enough to do the surgery, observe the patient for a day and then come home," Richard explained.

Derek eyed him wearily.

"What time do I need to be in New…" Derek was cut off by his pager going off.

_911- George O'Malley- ER_.

"Shit!" he swore getting up from his chair and running out of the office and down towards the Emergency Room.

* * *

**Ok so I didn't mean to take that long to update… midterms suck! Any way I will be updating again soon since it is the weekend and then next week I only have two days of classes and then I get a couple days off just so I can write and update for you!  Ok well until next time have a great weekend!**

**-Loti**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy isn't mine

Rating: K-T

* * *

Meredith dashed through the Emergency Room doors and stopped scanning the room quickly. The door behind her swung open violently and Derek ran into her back almost knocking her to the floor. Derek caught her but all she did was shake off his hand and run over to the bed where she spotted George holding onto Lilly's favorite stuffed bear.

Meredith rushed to her daughter's bedside where the little girl's tear stained face looked up at her mother. Her arms immediately went up asking for Meredith to hold her.

Seeing her daughter lying in a hospital bed was hard enough but watching her lift her arms hopelessly to her mother made Meredith want to start sobbing.

Immediately Meredith crawled into her child's bed and wrapped her arms around her trying to shield her from the world.

Derek stood watching the scene in front of him. Turning to George he looked at one of his wife and his best friends,

"What happened?" he asked in a hushed tone not able to really bring his voice up. He was a doctor and often saw small children in the hospital but he had never wanted nor imagined one of his own children to be in that position.

"The fever kept getting higher, I tried a cool cloth, she has had plenty of fluids, I even tried a cold bath but even after all of that it continued to get higher. Finally I just got too worried. She is only three… she shouldn't have a fever as high as she has now," George answered watching the little girl he considerer to be one of the most important things to him just like her brothers and Christina and Burke's son.

Derek nodded going into doctor mode. He needed to find out what was wrong with Lilliana.

Walking up to an ER nurse he turned into Dr. Shepherd the head of Neurosurgery.

"Admit her, then page Dr. Bailey. I want a complete set of tests run. Do it now," Derek ordered. He was never bossy or rude to any of her colleagues but he was scared and when he was scared and could do something about it nothing would stop him.

Not five minutes after Derek has spoken to the nurse Lilly was up on the surgical floor having tests done with Miranda Bailey looking over her newly created chart.

Meredith hadn't moved as she cradled her daughter comforting the little girl who continued to be poked and prodded.

Looking over at Derek she couldn't help but wish that he was hugging her close telling her it would all be over soon.

Derek caught Meredith's fear filled eyes and gave a small smile. Walking over to her he leaned down kissing her forehead before turning his attention to his daughter. Brushing her hair off her forehead and out of her face.

Looking at her tear stained cheeks his heart clenched.

"Daddy, I don't feel good," she gave a sort of plea to her father.

"Mommy, Daddy, Uncle George, Dr. Bailey, and the nurses are trying to make it all better baby. You are being so good, it'll be over soon," Derek reassured her.

He moved away and pulled Meredith with him once Bailey came up to the bed to exam the child.

"Ok little girl, I'm going to press down on your tummy and I need you to tell me if anything hurts, ok?" Miranda Bailey asked the young child.

Lilliana Shepherd nodded and watched as Dr. Bailey slowly began at her rib cage slightly pressing down.

"Ouch!" Lilly screamed out once Bailey had hit her lower abdomen.

Bailey sighed,

"McBernie's Point," was all she said taking her gloves off.

"Appendicitis," George said aloud shaking his head upset he hadn't seen the signs. Lilly wasn't complaining that the water hurt, it was the way he was holding her that hurt.

"Olivia schedule an OR," Bailey ordered turning towards the Shepherds.

"Ah, Dr. Bailey they are all full," Olivia informed her.

"What? That is ridiculous nothing is going on!" Bailey became frustrated.

"There was a number of emergency surgeries put up and are going on now on top of what was already scheduled," Olivia immediately defended.

"When should the next one be open?" Bailey asked eyeing the clock.

"Two, two and a half hours," Olivia responded.

"That puts us at close to nine. Schedule it." Bailey said turning once again to the worried parents.

"Appendicitis," was all Meredith said echoing what George had said a few minutes earlier, "Why didn't I see it?" She asked tears welling up in her eyes.

"We can't always see things in our own children that we see in others. It's a blind spot," Miranda comforted the woman she now considered her equal.

"Until surgery we will give her some meds to calm her and take away her pain," Bailey whispered running her hands through the young child's thick locks.

Meredith nodded. She knew the routine so did Derek but this…this was a complete different realm for them. Their own child was the one in the bed.

Derek hugged her tightly looking up at the clock.

_6:45_

_Crap! _He thought. They needed to call Christina and Burke and tell them what was going on.

"Mere, the boys," Derek whispered.

"Shit," Meredith cursed pulling out her cell phone,

"I'll call," George offered instead.

Five minutes later he walked back into the room.

"Christina is going to bring them by in a little while," he told his friends who had grabbed chairs and were sitting next to their daughter's bed.

"I want to make sure they are ok," Meredith said.

"Meredith they are fine," Derek loved her beyond anything he had ever known in his life. She was an excellent mother who… sometimes, tended to overreact.

"I will be back in the morning…but I have to go and get ready for work," George notified Meredith and Derek. He was already an hour late.

"Ok. George, thank you so much," Meredith stood and gave him a hug. Once George had left Derek looked at his daughter asleep due to the medicine that was being injected into her.

"It's just an appendectomy," Derek consoled seeing his wife once again turn a worried eye onto their daughter.

"Just an appendectomy!" Meredith said loudly standing up and looking up into his eyes.

"Derek! Any surgery is dangerous! What if her little body can't handle it! What will you say then?" The tears slowly started down her cheeks before they came fast and furious.

Derek pulled her into fierce hug and held her tightly letting her cry.

* * *

"Mommy!" Kieran shrieked as he wobbled into his sister's hospital room; followed by Andy and Christina.

"Hey sweetie," Meredith greeted her youngest child picking him up. Andy walked up to his mother and hugged her leg before moving to get up on the chair she had just vacated and looking at his sleeping sister.

"Is Lilly going to be ok?" he asked concerned.

"Of course she will be," Christina responded to the little boy walking over to the other side of Lilly's bedside.

Meredith held onto Kieran tightly and stroked Andy's hair looking over at Christina she sighed,

"I shouldn't be this worried…I mean we do dozens of surgeries like this every week," She was exasperated with herself.

"It's natural," Christina shrugged it off in normal Christina fashion.

Derek walked in still dressed in his scrubs and holding two cups of coffee,

"Wow Lilly has a lot of fans huh?" he commented walking up to his wife and taking Kieran out of her arms and placing one of the styrofoam cups in her hand.

Almost immediately after Derek had entered Bailey came in.

"Alright, OR 3 finally opened up, we can take her in and fix her up," she told the occupants of the room.

Derek nodded as a team came in the room and prepped the little girl for surgery.

Meredith held onto her daughters hand as they wheeled her into surgery.

"Ok, now you're going to go to sleep for Dr. Bailey and when you wake up we will be right there ok baby?" Meredith asked brushing her daughter's hair out of her eyes.

"How come you can't come with me?" Lilly asked in a small voice.

"Because Dr. Bailey is going to go with you instead and she is going to take very good care of you," Derek answered from his spot next to Meredith.

"Ready baby doll?" Miranda Bailey asked the little girl.

Looking at her parents Lilly nodded,

"Ok," Lilly answered quietly.

Bailey wheeled her bed into the OR not looking back at her colleagues.

As the bed was rolled in the operating room Meredith turned into Derek's chest.

"She'll be fine," she mumbled into his scrubs.

"Yes she will," Derek replied stroking his wife's hair.

* * *

Derek and Meredith sat in the on call room waiting for Bailey's page saying Lilliana was out of surgery.

"Mere, I need to talk to you," Derek looked over at her.

"What about?" Meredith sat up and looked at him.

"I got a page from the chief today so I went up to his office. He told me that Addison needs me for a surgery in New York, on a preemie…."

Meredith stood up, "When?"

"She said that she would have someone in New York do it, but this kid has been through a lot already and she wants me to do it…I've done this surgery successfully before…"

He was cut off, "When Derek?" Meredith asked her tone cold.

Derek looked up at his wife, "Richard was going to book a plane for tomorrow morning around eight," Derek sighed when Meredith turned and looked at him her eyes cold and angry.

"Our three year old daughter is in the middle of surgery right now and you just want to flit off to New York and be Super Derek? Seriously?" She asked him

"Meredith, it will be three days tops," Derek tried to reason.

"No! Lilly will be here for at least two, and then she will need to be taken care of outside of the hospital, Andy has school on Monday too and I have to be here at six… how am I supposed to get him to school? Everyone is working on Monday! Kieran seems to be the only one who doesn't have a full agenda…hmmm maybe I should hand him the keys and he can take Andy to school while his mother is working and trying to finish up a fellowship and his father who is available to be there is off in New York doing his ex wife a favor!" Meredith paced the room ranting and trying her best to figure out how she was going to work this out.

Sure she was being selfish but they were parents and their children…well they came first.

"Meredith, I tried. I really tried to get out of it," Derek stood and tried to get her to stop pacing.

"No! You know what Derek go just…" she was cut off by her pager going off. Looking down at it she sighed,

"Bailey, Lilly is out," she said shortly walking out of the room and heading back to Lilly's room.

Derek followed her and tried to take her hand but she pulled away from him,

"No…I'm too angry right now and I need to focus on our child," Meredith mumbled as they walked into Lilliana's room.

* * *

"Meredith, I need to go," Derek whispered at six the next morning. Meredith's head shot up. Her neck was killing her she and Derek and fallen asleep in Lilliana's room. Christina had offered to take the boys until Monday.

"Bye." She said shortly.

"Mere, come on," Derek pleaded.

"I'll be back Tuesday afternoon,'

Meredith looked away from him and turned her attention onto Lilly. Derek sighed and bent down kissing his daughters head. Standing up he leaned across the bed and kissed Meredith's cheek before she could pull away.

"I'll check on my boys on the way to the airport," Derek informed her as he left the room.

Meredith let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and flopped back down into the chair she had slept in the night before.

_She could do this._

"Mommy?" Lilly slowly opened her eyes.

"Hey there," Meredith immediately pushed Derek to the back of her mind and focused on her daughter.

"How are you feeling?"

"Sleepy," Lilly replied.

"Ok, go back to sleep," Meredith stroked the little girls cheek.

Three hours later Meredith had showered and changed her scrubs and was on her way to see Lilly when she ran into Izzie.

"Meredith!" the other woman shrieked. Meredith was at first confused…Izzie was unusually upbeat.

"Izzie…OH! LET ME SEE YOUR HAND!" she asked acting like a high school girl.

Izzie proudly stuck out her left hand showing off the stunning diamond that reflected the hospitals florescent lights.

"Wow," Meredith smiled at her glowing friend.

"So whose chart do you have?" Izzie asked grabbing and opening it up.

Reading the first line her face immediately drew in concern,

"Meredith…why does Lilly have a chart?" She asked.

"George brought her in yesterday… appendicitis," Meredith told her friend.

"My god, why didn't you call me?" Izzie asked.

"I could have been here…Alex too… we could have helped,"

"I didn't want to even think about calling you. Alex had been planning that since August!" Meredith defended herself.

"Oh Mere… I wouldn't have cared. I'm so sorry," Izzie pulled her friend into a tight hug. Meredith hugged her back needing some of the support she was offering.

Suddenly Meredith pulled away when her pager went off,

"What is it?" Izzie asked

"Alex, but its Lilly…" Meredith answered

"I'll see you later Iz," Meredith said turning in concern. Alex wasn't a pediatrician but he had spent enough time working with children during his internship, she trusted his opinion.

Once Meredith walked in the door she saw Alex standing there taking Lilly's temperature as he talked animatedly to her.

"Here's Mommy," he told her glancing over and seeing Meredith enter,

"And your chart…I've been looking for this," he frowned at Meredith grabbing the chart from her hand.

Meredith saw Lilly sitting up slightly and was surprised to see her alert.

"She is running a fever…at first I just thought it was the surgery until…" Alex was interrupted by Lilly's loud and deep cough.

Meredith turned her attention to her daughter.

"It looks like a she got the double whammy… appendicitis and pneumonia, but we won't know that for sure until we get x-rays of her chest and check on her lungs," Alex continued.

"She has shown no signs of pneumonia though," Meredith insisted.

"Yeah the surgery probably didn't help much," Alex replied.

"I told Bailey she should probably check up… she didn't seem happy that I was looking into Lilly's case but oh well," Alex continued to scribble in the chart.

"God, Alex… she can't have pneumonia," Meredith fought the tears building up behind her eyes.

"If she does Meredith we are all here we can help you guys out. You and Derek can handle it," Alex reassured her.

"Derek's in New York," Meredith told him.

"WHAT! While Lil's is here?" Alex was upset.

"Addison needed him for a surgery on a premature baby or something," Meredith shook her head.

Alex shook his head as well knowing Meredith was upset and knowing how difficult the next few days would be on her.

"Don't worry Mere, she is in excellent hands," Alex hugged her.

"Oh by the way thanks for calling us when she was admitted," he told her.

"Alex you would have killed me if I had interrupted last night," Meredith found herself once again defending herself.

"No, Lilly comes before that kind of thing," Alex responded as he turned and kissed the little girls check and then Meredith's.

"I'll be back later," he told her.

Meredith turned and looked at her daughter who coughed loudly and rubbed her chest.

"Does it hurt when you cough Lilliana?" Meredith asked with no energy at all.

Lilly shook her head slowly and coughed again.

"Ok… we will fix it for you," Meredith told her about to take a seat when her pager went off.

_911- Incoming Patient _

Kissing her daughter she ran downstairs to the emergency room where they brought in a car accident victim.

Looking at the elderly man she went into doctor mode and started her day trying her best to push Lilly to the back of her mind along side her father.

* * *

**So did that take forever to write? I think so. Research Papers are a pain in my butt... I've been working on it and it still isn't done. Oh well I decided to finish this so I could finally post it for you guys before Thanksgiving. Anyway I hope you enjoyed. I hope to have the next chapter up by the end of the week! For those of you who celebrate it have a Happy Thanksgiving!!**

**-Loti**


	5. Chapter 5

Meredith held the x-ray film of her daughter's lungs and swore. There it was pneumonia just teasing her sitting in Lilly's little chest.

Alex walked up behind her popping a piece of gum into his mouth,

"Yup," he said looking up and squinting at the films

"And in both lungs, we'll get her on oxygen and a couple of shots in the butt along with meds and sleep and she'll be able to walk out of her in about…oh a week," Alex looked down at Meredith who had started to massage her temples.

"You should call Derek…"Alex started. Meredith whirled around,

"No! He felt that it would be just fine to leave myself our two boys oh and our three year old daughter who just had surgery to go off to New York," she fumed. Alex back up with his hands in front of him.

"It's just that if it was me…I'd want to know how my kid was," Alex paused as Meredith looked down know that she knew what the right thing to do was, "look, do you want Iz and I to take Andy and Kieran tonight?" he asked.

"No, I can't keep passing my children off on everyone else. Besides I promised I would cook them macaroni and cheese tonight. They will stay home with me, George is on call tonight he can be my eyes when it comes to Lilly," Meredith sighed she hated the fact that she would have to leave Lilly here by herself but she had two other children that needed her too. Lilly would be out for the night after she got her shots.

"Here I'll come with you to help you with her when Bailey gives her the shots," Alex sighed hugging his friend.

Meredith and Alex walked down the hall to Lilliana's room. Bailey stood at the end of the little girl's bed reading over her chart. Once in the room Alex who had taken the x-ray from Meredith slapped it on the board on the wall and flipped on the lights allowing Bailey to see the damage.

Sighing Bailey turned to him, "Karev, go to the nurses station and have someone bring in the meds she needs them now,"

Lilly peeked out from under her blanket, "Mommy…I don't want to take any medicine,"

"You aren't going to have to swallow anything right now Lils," Meredith replied quietly.

* * *

Derek grabbed his small bag and walked out into the main terminal.

"Derek!" Addison called from her position by JFK's main entrance.

"Hey Addie," Derek replied giving her a small hug.

"Thanks for coming on such short notice," Addison said as the two walked out and hailed a cab.

"Sure, so do we have an open OR?" He asked anxious to get home.

Addison looked down at her Cellini Rolex,

"In two hours we will," she informed him as the he got into the cab after her.

"55 Church please," Addison told the driver, "the hospital insists on paying for everything," she told him.

"That's very generous of them," Derek shuffled though his briefcase trying to find his phone.

Addison watched him, "So, uh how's Meredith and the kids?" She asked trying to strike up a conversation.

"Good. Andy started kindergarten in September and loves it. Kieran is two already and Lilliana…well she just had an appendectomy…last night," Derek almost whispered the last part of his sentence.

"Seriously?" Addison asked. Derek nodded as he finally located his phone and turned it on hoping to have a call from Meredith.

"And you came out anyway?" She was shocked. Derek never put anything in front of his children.

"Yeah, I'm kind of regretting it Meredith was angry as hell with me but it was a minor procedure and she was doing well when I left this morning," Derek tried desperately to justify himself but knowing there was no way to justify up and leaving Meredith alone to take care of the boys and leaving his daughter sick in the hospital.

"Well thank you," Addison patted his arm. They hadn't become close buddies but she and Derek were friends. After he and Meredith had decided to get married she had moved back to New York closely followed by Mark Sloan who she to this day had a… well she guessed you could call it a relationship. She was still weary of him and his…well…tendency to wander.

Once the cab pulled up to Derek's hotel she held it for him why he checked in and put his stuff in his room and changed into his scrubs. Fifteen minutes later Derek came jogging out the hotel's front door and got back into the cab.

"Ready to go?" Addison asked. Derek nodded and looked out his window his thoughts far from the surgery he would perform in almost an hour.

* * *

"It's not the simplest of procedures. It will take some time but she seems strong so I have confidence in her," Derek stood in front of the parents of the two week old baby girl who he was operating on.

"Have you done this before Dr. Sheppard?" The baby's mother tore her eyes away from her daughter in the incubator to look at him.

Derek gave a small smile, "Yes I have," when he realized they didn't have any other question he stepped out of the room and made his way down the hall to make sure he was still schedule for surgery in a half an hour.

"Dr. Sheppard!" Derek turned around to see the baby's father running after him.

"She'll be ok right? I mean you don't know what it feels like to see her in that incubator…she's going to be ok right?" the man asked again.

"As long as surgery goes well and barring any complications afterwards she will be fine and go on to live a normal life. And trust me, I know exactly how you feel," Derek told the man who just looked at him before nodding and turning away to go back to his wife and daughter.

Derek had forgotten what he was originally going to go check; all that was on his mind now was his family. Pulling out his cell phone he hit speed dial one and connected to Meredith's cell phone putting it up to his ear as he listened to it ring.

* * *

"NO!" Lilliana Sheppard screamed as Miranda Bailey tried to give her the two shots needed to start curing her of her pneumonia.

Meredith looked at her daughters tear stained face,

"Baby it's really quick and then it will be done come on sweetie," Meredith tried to get her daughters attention but Lilly wouldn't have any of it as she thrashed around in her bed.

"Meredith she can't be thrashing she'll tear her stitches," Bailey warned.

Exasperated Meredith held her daughters shoulders, "Lilliana Grace… you need to be still for mommy,"

Her tear rolling down her face like giant rain drops she sniffled, "I want Daddy to do the butterfly,"

Meredith sighed feeling defeated. Whenever the kids had to get shots for anything Derek did it using his 'butterfly'. He was excellent at it, taking their mind off of the cold metal going into their skin making them believe that it was a butterfly.

"Daddy isn't here, but Mommy can do it for you," she whispered to her daughter taking the needle from Bailey.

"See here is the butterfly it lands right here and," Meredith stuck her with the needle only to have the little girl flinch but then relax, she injected the medicine into her and pulled the needle out, " then we are all done," she discarded the needle into the toxic waste bin.

Lilly's tears continued to roll down her face. It always worked Derek was a genius for it. When he was three Meredith and Derek had bee concerned he may have been diabetic so for every shot and blood work they had to do there was Derek. She missed him and he had only been gone since that morning.

"I hurt," Lilly said rubbing her lower abdomen. Meredith's brow drew in concern.

"What do you mean Lilly?" she asked taking the blankets off her daughter. Bailey looked up from filling in her chat to see the small patch of blood seeping through the sheet.

"She tore them," Bailey sighed.

"Damn it," Meredith cursed if it wasn't one thing it was another and she had a surgery scheduled in an hour she did not have time for this.

"Don't worry we'll put her under for a few while we stitch her up again and then page you to let you know she's ok… it happens in children her…" Bailey stopped as Lilly erupted in loud deep coughs.

Meredith was immediately by her daughter's side grabbing for the oxygen mask she had thrown off during her fit. As she told her daughter breath and the little girl continued to cough loudly she felt her phone start to go home. With her free hand she looked at it hoping it wasn't her father calling to tell her something had happened to one of the boys. Christina had dropped them off there when she and Burke had to come into work.

_Derek _

Was what her screen read. Sighing she shoved back into her pocket without answering and turned her full attention back to her daughter.

* * *

Derek slammed the phone shut Meredith's voicemail picked up. Running his hands over his face and through his hair he sat down in a chair next to the nurse's station. He screwed up big time. He should have put his foot down there were plenty of other well qualified surgeons out there to do this job.

Standing up he realized that there was nothing to be done about it now. He looked at the clock realizing he should be getting ready to scrub up for the surgery. Walking into the scrub room he washed his hands and began to suit up.

* * *

"Clamp," Meredith grasped the tool handed to her and focused on her patient's spine the steady sound of the woman's heart on the monitor keeping her focused and in check.

"There it is," Meredith located the clot that had formed in her patient's upper back. Repairing the damage she closed and allowed the nurses to finish up and get the patient back to ICU.

An hour prior while Meredith was still in surgery she had been paged by Bailey saying Lilly was out of surgery. Scrubbing out of surgery she took off her face mask and cap and washed her hands. Walking out into the hall she figured Lilly should be moved down to pediatrics but she technically was a surgical patient still and it was more convenient having her on the floor Meredith spent most of her time on.

Walking into Lilly's room she noted that the little girl was still asleep from the anesthesia. Miranda Bailey appeared behind her.

"Karev and O'Malley are on call tonight," she said from behind Meredith who just nodded her head.

"How did it go?" Meredith turned to the other woman.

"It wasn't the fit she threw that really tore them…it didn't help. It was the coughing but the antibiotics are in there now working so coughing shouldn't be too much to worry about," the other woman consoled Meredith, "Grey, go home," Bailey ordered. Meredith gave a small smile Bailey was the only one who ever called her by her maiden name still. Yes she had hyphenated it so it was still apart of her name but her children and her husband's last names were Sheppard so she mostly stuck with that…except when it came to Miranda Bailey.

Walking over and kissing Lilly's forehead Meredith turned and hugged Miranda Bailey thanking her before she walked out of the room heading towards the locker room to change and go pick up her boys.

* * *

It was almost six thirty in the evening when Meredith pulled into the garage and turned off the ignition to her car. Andy and Kieran sat in their car seats.

The ride home had been quiet,

"Are we going to see Lilly?" Andy asked. Meredith shook her head as she got out of the car and opened his door to unbuckle him,

"Not tonight," she told him.

"Is daddy there?" Kieran asked.

"No. Daddy is away for a couple of days," Meredith responded as she unbuckled him as well.

"Why?" Andy asked his head shooting up from where he was fumbling to get his back pack of the car floor.

"A baby needed his help," Meredith opened the garage door and disabled the alarm.

"Take your wet shoes and put them on the rack in the laundry room and put your socks on the floor next to the washer please," she asked the boys as she made her way to the answering machine. The machine blinked _3_ at her. Pressing play she pulled off her scarf and discarded her own shoes.

_Hey Mere its Iz. Just wanted you to know that I can pick Andy up from school tomorrow if you need me to. Let me know!_

_BEEP_

_Meredith it's me please call me back when you get home. Love you _

Derek's voice wafted through the machine. _He must have called the house too _she thought.

_BEEP_

_Dr. Grey-Sheppard this is Linda calling from Roseridge Retirement Home. I was hoping we could schedule an appointment to meet. Your mother's condition has worsened and we would like to speak with you soon. Please call us back._

Meredith stared at that machine. _Wonderful_. She thought. Her mother had lost all sense of what was around her and only lived in the past now. To her Meredith was a nine year old or five. The age varied. But now she was in bed almost all the time and the disease must have really started to deteriorate her brain even more so.

She would call tomorrow after her nine o'clock surgery. Suddenly Meredith was ripped from her thoughts b Kieran,

"Mama, I'm hungry," he informed her. Meredith looked down at her two year old and picked him up.

"Well, I was thinking mac and cheese?" She told him.

"Yeah!" Kieran agreed enthusiastically.

Meredith set him down in the family room rug where some of his toys were still out and went into the kitchen to prepare there dinner.

* * *

"Dr. Lewis would you close please?" Derek asked the resident next to him who eagerly nodded and began working. Exiting the OR Derek washed his hands and watched the resident finish the baby girl's surgery. It had gone relatively well, only one instance when he though he wouldn't be able to maneuver around a vessel but it ended up not being a problem.

Walking out of the OR he headed for the on call room where he had spent his on call nights as an intern and resident. He heard the click of Addison's heels behind him. She had been in the gallery the whole length of the five hour surgery.

"Thank you Derek," she said from behind him. Derek turned and smiled.

"Your welcome Addie," he responded, "page me if you need me. I'll be here tonight. You are going to talk to the family right?" he asked her. She nodded as he walked into the empty on call room and pulled out his home. Looking at the time he crinkled his brow 8:30 pm…. he knew checked his phones battery before realizing his phone was still on Seattle time. Knowing that by this time the boys would be asleep Derek once again called Meredith's cell and held it up to his ear waiting for her to answer.

* * *

Meredith sat cross legged on her and Derek's giant bed. She felt so alone and lost. She had just called Izzie to confirm that her picking Andy up would be a giant help. She wanted to sleep, she was exhausted, but as a mother and knowing one of her children were not safely in their beds she couldn't. She knew Lilly was in wonderful hands, George and Alex were there but still… she was torn out of her thoughts though once she heard a faint ring coming from down the hall.

Remember that she had left her phone on the kitchen counter she leaped from her bed and ran down the hall and the stairs into the kitchen grabbing her phone. It could have been George or Alex calling about Lilly.

Looking down at the front screen she calmed once she saw Derek's name displayed. Flipping her phone open she pressed the phone to her ear and answered,

"Hey,"

"Hi," he replied. There was a long pause before he spoke again,

"How is Lilly?" Meredith couldn't hold back the tears that had formed when she had heard his voice,

"Derek," she took a breath trying to stop the tears. Derek stood was his spot and passed the room regretting his decision.

"Meredith, calm down. Shhh," he tried to quiet her tears.

"Derek, she has pneumonia is both lungs and during a coughing attack and the fit she threw when we tried to give her the meds she tore her stitches so Miranda had to take her back into surgery and now I'm here and she is there but the boys need to be home tonight and I don't know what to do," Meredith cried into the phone.

Derek pushed hard on of the bunk beds in the room in frustration.

"She is stable though?" he asked. Meredith nodded until she realized he couldn't see her,

"Yeah," she wiped the tears off her face.

"Ok this is what I want you to do, go turn off the lights, lay down and get comfortable ok? I will stay on the phone with you," Derek told her.

Meredith complied and once she was in bed she spoke again,

"I'm in bed,"

Derek smiled, "Ok now close your eyes and go to sleep," Meredith put the phone on speaker and set it next to her on his pillow.

"How was the surgery?" she asked him.

"It went well, she'll make a full recovery," Derek answered as he lay down on one of the beds wishing he was with her.

"I'm glad," Meredith swallowed. She didn't care anymore she just wanted him to be home. How did they do it? How did single mothers do it?

"I miss you," she whispered into the air surrounding the phone.

Derek sighed, "I miss you too…Kieran and Andy are ok?" he asked

"Yeah, they have been in bed for about an hour," Meredith replied feeling her eyes get heavy.

"I love you Mere," Derek told her.

"I love you too Derek," she murmured as she finally surrendered to the sleep she needed so badly. Derek heard her breathing become steady and waited a few more minutes before he disconnected and fell asleep as well.

* * *

"Mom?" Meredith stirred and opened one eye looking at her clock. The angry red numbers blared back at her _12:15. _She looked towards the door way where she saw Andy standing and struggling to hold his little brother up.

"Andrew? What are you doing?" she asked him.

"We can't sleep," Andy responded stepping into the room. Meredith nodded and patted Derek's side of the bed.

"Come on,"

Andy staggered into the room and place Kieran on the bed who fell asleep as soon as Meredith pulled him towards her. _At least he is asleep_ was all Meredith could think. Once Andy crawled into bed she pulled him close and rubbed his back until she heard his breathing even out and knew he was asleep. Soon she followed.

* * *

So don't hate me. I know I said I would have this a week ago but…yeah I failed. I did a lot of switching back in forth between Meredith and Derek in this chapter and got to now the line break thing really well haha, anyway I just thought it was kind of necessary to see how each was coping with what was going on in their day...or I just like the line break thing :-). Ok I will have the next chapter up as soon as possible. Let me know what you think! Have a great weekend! 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy is not mine- too bad.

Rating: KT 

Derek woke with his cell phone still in his hands. Looking at the time it read _5:15 am_. He couldn't believe he had slept until 7:15 in the morning. He should have been up at five to check on the baby girl, but Addison hadn't paged so he suspected everything was fine.

Getting up he straightened his scrubs and coat and smoothed down his hair. Walking out of the on call room he headed towards pediatrics. Standing in the room Addison was speaking with his patients parents as the baby slept in an incubator.

Once he entered both parents turned to look at him,

"Thank you," the baby's father said shaking Derek's hand as his wife nodded.

"I was happy to help. She looks like she will be fine," Derek smiled.

"Thank you… this is wonderful. Dr. Montgomery told us you were the best. Where is it you are from?" the woman spoke up.

"Uh, originally here, but now I live in Seattle," Derek answered the question.

"Well…I… thank you so much for making the trip out here dropping everything it seems," her husband shook his hand once again.

"Well if you'll excuse me I need to go do some paper work," Derek excused himself and went to the nearest nurse's station.

A half hour later he was still filling out the baby's chart.

"Do you have any children Dr. Sheppard?" Mrs. Gregory, the baby girls mother approached him.

Derek looked up at her,

"Yes. I have three," he told her.

"Charlotte is our first. Does it get hard? I mean does it get hard operating on children since you have children?" she asked.

Derek answered immediately,

"With any patient I do my absolute best and everything I can possibly do for that patient. When it comes to children however I have extra cautious knowing as a parent what it must feel like to have a child on the operating table… that feeling of dread and uncertainty…" Derek cut himself off and closed the chart and went to file it. As he filed it the woman smiled and nodded,

"How old are they?" she asked

Without looking up from the files Derek answered,

"Andrew is five, Lilliana is three, and Kieran is two," he found the charts place and looked up at the woman, "if you'll excuse me I need to be getting back to Seattle," Derek shook her hand once more and sprinted off towards Addison's office. His patient's family probably thought he was some sort of rude big headed doctor but right now what was important to him was his wife, his two boys and his sick little girl.

"Addison you can see Charlotte through recovery right?" he asked pulling out his blackberry and getting online to check flights into Seattle.

"Uh yeah…Derek what's going on?" She asked looking up at him her glasses pushed down her nose.

"I need to get back to Seattle Addie, I just upped and left. Lilly isn't getting any better and Meredith is stressing out. She has a full day and she needs to get the boys taken care of…I **need** to be there,"

Addison looked at him a moment. Part of her still wondered 'what if'. What if she and he had had kids… but then she couldn't imagine that he would be happy…well as happy as he is with Meredith the woman who despite all that Addison wanted to be true wasn't a bad person and had treated Addison with the utmost respect- always.

"Go. Thank you for coming you really are the best," Addison stood and hugged him. Derek hugged her back and literally ran out of the hospital grabbing a taxi and taking back to his useless hotel room where he held the taxi quickly changed and ran back down. If they got to JFK in time he could make the ten o'clock flight.

* * *

Meredith made her way around the kitchen as she made Andy's lunch and waited for the boy's waffles to pop up in the toaster. Drinking out of her coffee mug she put it down once she saw the time and ran to the stairs making her way up them,

"Shit! Its 7:15," she needed to get the boys fed and ready to go in time to have Andy at school by eight.

"ANDREW MICHAEL," she bellowed as she climbed the stairs. The little boy popped his head out from her room.

"What?" he asked

"We have half an hour, go down stairs as soon as I bring Kieran down I will butter and put syrup on your waffles.

Andy nodded. Meredith made her way in Kieran's room where he sat in his crib dressed from when she had dressed him earlier.

"Let's go get breakfast," she told him as she swung him out of the crib and carried him out into the hall and downstairs.

Once she was back downstairs she took the boys waffles and placed them on separate plates making sure Kieran's had no syrup and was cut into small pieces.

Walking over to the cabinet where she kept the children's cold medicine and other medicines Meredith opened it and grabbed the Children's Airborne. She wasn't a big fan of it but with Lilly having pneumonia who knew what else was lurking around the house and even what she was bringing into the house from the hospital.

Reading the directions she took the right amount and dumped it into the boys orange juice stirring it thoroughly. Tapping the spoon against Kieran's sippy cup she dropped it into the sink with a loud clank and set the cup in front of her sons.

"Drink up," she said glancing at the clock noticing she had fifteen minutes before she needed to be leaving the house in order to get Andy to school on time.

Andy took a sip and scrunched up his face, "Mom this is not orange juice!" he said pushing it away.

"Yes it is…it just has some medicine in there to keep you from getting sick I need you to drink it if you want to see Lilly this afternoon," Meredith told him staring at him pointedly.

Andy plugged his nose and tipped his head back as he took two giant gulps. Making a face he pushed the drink away,

"Mom can I have water too?" he asked as Meredith came back into the room with his shows, Kieran's shoes and Andy's backpack in hand. Grabbing a paper cup she hit the water dispenser on the side of the fridge filling it up and handing it to him.

"Put your dish in the sink when you're done. Kieran I need you to finish that drink please," Meredith had no time for Kieran to pull any crap.

"No!" Kieran protested kicking his legs in his high chair causing the cup to fall of the chair and hit the floor; the lid Meredith had not put on properly in her rush broke off rolling away as orange juice went everywhere.

"Kieran!" Meredith yelled. The two year old looked at the mess and then at his mother's tired face then back at the mess before bursting into tears. At this point Meredith had no patience. _Where the hell was Derek when she needed him the most._

"You, shoes on," she pointed at Andy whose face had gone white when he saw what happened. The five year old jumped from his place on the table and took the shoes from his mother's hands and then ran to the coat closet pulling out his heavy coat and beanie.

Meredith took Kieran's plate off of his high chair table and threw it into the sink chipping the plate as it landed. Unhooking the table she roughly put his shoes on and velcroed them closed. Picking him up she side stepped the giant orange juice spill and sat him on the island in the middle of the kitchen. Andy rushed in handing her his brothers' coat and gloves.

"Thank you baby; get your backpack and go put it in the car please," Meredith told Andy who immediately did as he was told. Meredith geared Kieran up for one of the harshest Seattle winters she had ever experienced and set him down in the living room.

"Don't move," she told him sitting him down on the carpet as tears still ran down his cheeks.

Meredith sprinted back into the kitchen and pulled paper towels off their roll and started to clean up the orange juice, once it was off the floor she took a damp clothe and washed the spot on the kitchens flag stone flooring once again to ensure ants wouldn't come looking.

Looking up at the clock she realized she needed to have left a minute before. Grabbing her purse and checking to make sure she had everything she picked up Kieran, Kieran's diaper bag, grabbed the keys off their hook near the garage door and entered the garage to see Andy sitting in his seat buckled and ready to go. _Thank God I can trust at least one Shepherd man._ She thought to herself as she put Kieran, still crying into his car seat before jumping into the driver's side and opening the garage door pulling out of her garage and driveway and onto the street; heading towards Washington Elementary their local elementary school.

* * *

Christina poked her head into Lilliana Shepherd's room. The little girl was just waking up.

"Aunt Christina, where's mommy?" the little girls voice trembled.

"Hey Wild Thing, Mommy is coming," Christina sat down on Lilly's bed.

"What about Daddy? Is he mad? He didn't come at all yesterday," Lilly snuggled up against Christina.

"Oh no! Daddy isn't mad with you. He needed to help someone else that's all," Christina could wring Derek Shepherd's neck.

Lilly nodded.

"Is Jason at day care?" she asked.

Christina nodded,

"I wish I was there," Lilly told her.

"Only a few more days of this W.T.," Christina comforted her wrapping an arm around her. Hearing Christina's pager go off Lilly looked up at her,

"Better get going,"

Even at three years old Lilliana knew the workings of the hospital. It was her second home. What was to be expected when both parents are surgeons as well as all their friends…well not friends but family.

"Yup, guess I do. Be good," Christina hopped off the bed and left the room.

Lilly sighed and looked around the room. She really wished she could be able to breathe with out the tubes up her nose, or that he tummy didn't hurt, or that her mom and dad would walk into the room right then. Staring hard at the door trying to make one of them appear she didn't even realize she had laid back down and her eyes were slowly starting to droop as she fell back to sleep.

* * *

"Run, run, run! I love you. Aunt Izzie will be here at twelve!" Meredith yelled as Andy nearly sprinted to catch up with his class as they made their way into his classroom.

Looking in the rear view mirror she saw that Kieran continued to cry.

"Kie… its ok. Mommy isn't mad," she told him. The little boy met her eyes in the mirror and looked down again. Meredith sighed as she pulled away from the school and made her way towards the hospital, ten minutes away.

Pulling into Derek's parking spot she unloaded her son and carried him into the hospital just as the rain started to pound down on them.

"Can I see Lilly?" Kieran spoke for the first time in forty twenty minutes.

"At lunch I will come get you and you can see her but Mommy is late and there isn't time now," Meredith told him as they walking into the elevator.

"I love levaors," Kieran told her trying hard to pronounce elevator.

"I'm sure you do," Meredith smirked at him seeing more and more of Derek in him.

Walking off the elevator and into the day care Meredith kissed her youngest as she set him down and signed him in.

"I will see you in a couple of hours," Kieran nodded and made his way to where Jason was sitting coloring.

Meredith entered the empty locker room and changed into scrubs dropping her purse into the locker before slamming it shut.

Walking out of the locker room she passed the OR board where she needed to confirm her surgery at three and continued into Lilly's room. The little girl was asleep her face turned towards the door. Meredith's heart broke as she saw Lilly hooked up to oxygen and clutching her teddy bear.

Sitting on her daughter's bed she lay down next to her and stroked her hair. Meredith laid there for thirty minutes before her pager vibrated against her hip and she was struck back in reality realizing she had a job to do.

Looking back at Lilly Meredith was struck with something her mother had once said to her when she was reliving her residency days,

"I should have never had a daughter,"

Looking at her sleeping child Meredith could never imagine saying that, it would physically hurt her.

* * *

Three hours later Meredith had sat with Bailey and spoke with her patients' family and had given interns the job of getting the patient ready for surgery in two hours. Taking the free time she had Meredith picked Kieran up and took him to Lilly's room. Setting him on her bed she left the two in there with a nurse and went go get lunch from the cafeteria.

Bringing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches up she glanced at the time, _12:21_ Izzie had left around 11:45 to pick Andrew up she should be back soon.

"I told Kieran when I get home we can play outside in the tree house the one Daddy is building,"

Meredith nodded as she took a bite,

"Attempting to build sweetheart, and only when you aren't coughing anymore and Dr. Bailey says so," Meredith pointed out.

Lilly nodded. After lunch Meredith took Kieran back to the day care and made sure interns were preparing her patient before returning to Lilly's room. Walking close to her to room she heard Andy talking. Izzie must have brought him by before she went in for surgery herself Meredith walked closers to the door expecting to hear Izzie's voice but instead she heard a voice she thought she would never be so happy to hear talking animatedly to her children.

"No Daddy! Mommy says I can't play until Dr. Bailey says so,"

"Well Mommy is right, but when you are all put back together you, Andy, Kie and I maybe Mommy too, will finish it and then you guys can play on it,"

Meredith entered the room to see Derek sitting in the chair she had vacated ten minutes before and Andy lay next to his sister.

"Mom!" Andy exclaimed.

"Hey baby, how was school?" Meredith crossed her arms and smiled at him avoiding Derek's eyes.

"Good," Andy replied shrugging it off.

"I'm gonna go talk with Mommy ok?" Derek told his children as he got up and took his wife's hand.

Taking her out into the hall Meredith leaned against the wall her arms crossed looking at him pointedly.

Derek gave her his look. The one where he tilted his head a little studying you, looking into your eyes all concerned trying to communicate.

Meredith looked away,

"Mere," Derek touched her arm. Meredith turned her eyes back towards him. _He left! Granted it was only for two days but still…in a time when she need him most he left. _

Looking into his deep blue eyes however Meredith's resolve crumbled and she felt the tears well up. Biting her bottom lip she tried looking anywhere but him.

"Lilly looks good," she said.

"Meredith," Derek called her attention back to him grabbing her other arm softly. Meredith shook her head feeling the tears start to fall.

Derek's heart broke gathering her in his arms he held her close walking her into an empty room.

"I'm so sorry baby," he whispered into her hair as her sobs slowly took over.

"God Derek, I didn't know what to do. There was Lilly sitting her alone in the hospital and the boys being passed from one available hand to the next and work…"

Derek hugged her closer, "I'm here now, I'm not going to leave you or our children again. Never." Derek promised not only her but himself as well.

Meredith wrapped her arms around him as he kissed her.

"I don't know how I could do this without you," she whispered into his ear her head lay on his shoulder.

"I don't know how I do anything without you," he told her,

"Come on, Andy brought home some homework so I will take him to my office and work on it with him, Lilly can get some rest and then after your surgery you can go get Kieran from daycare and bring him into Lilly's room and Andy and I will go get dinner to bring back and we can just be here together. No one will be alone, no one will be passed from person to person we will all be here.

Meredith nodded hugging him tighter. Looking up at the clock on the wall she realized she needed to go prep for surgery.

"I have to go," she pulled away and looked into his eyes,

"You better not ever make me mad at you like that again Derek Shepherd,"

Derek brought his forehead to hers,

"Never again Meredith Shepherd," he whispered kissing her gently letting her go do her job before he returned to Lilly's room.

* * *

Meredith watched carefully looking for any bleeders, Dr. Bailey at her side.

"All clear," Meredith told her. Bailey was a attendee now and Meredith was assisting as resident.

"Good, lets get this taken care of and get her out of here," Bailey said as her pager went off.

Glancing down at it Bailey did a double take.

_911 Nurses Station _

Bailey looked at Meredith,

"You can finish this Dr. Grey," she told her carefully removing her hands and walking away scrubbing out.

"Ok?" Meredith watched her mentor.

Bailey walked out of the room and sprinted to the nurses station,

"What is it?" She asked Olivia.

"Lilliana Shepherd…she…"

Bailey looked down at the OR she had just left.

"Did you page Derek Shepherd?" she asked interrupting the nurse.

"I thought he was out of town," Olivia answered.

"No, he is back; page him and him only. Do not page Meredith,' Bailey ordered sprinting towards Lilly's room.

* * *

Ok so there is six. It took forever but I started writing it right after I posted five… oh well it is hard when you are trying to get two research papers done. Do Profs really want to read fifty papers all pretty much on the same thing? I guess so. Ok I will have the next one up as soon as I can…. Give me a week or so…and then semester is over YAY!

Loti


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Nope…not mine.

* * *

Derek clutched his pager as he sprinted towards his daughter's room. The knot in his stomach grew tighter as he got closer to the room. He ran past one of the new nurses flipping through charts hitting her shoulder causing the charts to go flying across the hall.

He barely registered that people were around him his eyes focused ahead of him as the door became closer.

He grabbed a hold of the door frame and looked towards Lilly's bed. It was empty but a group of white coats surrounded a white tub and he could hear small whimpers.

"What's going on?" He demanded panicked looking to see if Meredith was in the room.

"Derek," Izzie turned around and grabbed his arm.

"Her fever shot up to 103.1…. we brought the ice bath in as soon as we could," she told him.

Derek looked down at his daughter in her hospital gown, Miranda Bailey sponging her forehead with the ice water. Lilly's face was flushed her eyes fluttering. Derek fell to his knees beside her.

"Lilly Bean…look at me baby," Derek took the sponge from Bailey. Lilly erupted in coughs. Derek wanted nothing more than to hold her. This was his child, suffering and there was nothing more they could do for her. With her fever so high they needed to get it down quickly…something antibiotics couldn't do fast enough.

Derek took a quick glance around; Bailey was kneeled down on the other side of the tub Alex stood by Lilly's head, Izzie stood behind him and Christina and George stood at Lilly's feet.

"Did someone page Meredith?" Derek asked looking up at his friends as he pushed Lilliana's hair out of her face.

"No…she's still in…' George started.

"Good.." Derek paused, "don't, let her finish," he knew she was going to kill him, but there was nothing she could do right now but worry over Lilly. By the time she was out of surgery she would be done with the day and could spend all her time with Lilly…if her fever came down soon.

"It's the stress of surgery and the pneumonia," Alex mumbled aloud. Derek nodded.

"Where is the thermometer?" Derek asked shortly. Bailey handed him the small device.

Derek gently turned Lilly's head and stuck the thermometer in her left ear and waited for it to beep at him signaling it was done reading her temperature.

Once it did beep Derek looked down at the digital numbers 100.6,

"It's down. Let's give her some Tylenol and make sure her drip is on…she is dehydrated," Derek lifted Lilly out of the water. She shivered uncontrollably, walking over to the bag Meredith and brought for her he grabbed her pajamas. Taking the towel Christina handed him he dried his daughter off and changed her into her pajamas.

"Where is her drip?" He asked quietly, Lilly looked at him wearily.

Bailey handed the IV to him.

"Just a butterfly…Lils," he told her as he made the IV fly through the air before landing on her arm and softly sticking her with it.

Lilly watched him and held onto his left hand as he hooked her up to the IV.

"Ok?" He whispered rubbing her cheek softly.

"Where's mommy?" she asked.

"Working… but she is coming soon," Derek continued to rub her cheek as she closed her eyes with a small nod, her body exhausted from the stress it had been put under that afternoon.

* * *

Derek leaned against the wall outside of the OR Meredith was finishing up in. He stood once the door swung open and she quickly walked out.

"Mere," he called after her.

Meredith turned and looked at him. His hair was unusually messy and his face unshaven…he looked exhausted.

"Why did Bailey rush out of there?" she demanded of her husband. Derek stepped towards her,

"What? Oh my god….its Lilly…Derek…what's happened?" Derek watched as Meredith unraveled in a matter of seconds.

"Lilly is going to be fine…just a scare," Derek took her in his arms. He needed her right now as much as she needed him. Meredith completed him and their children…well they meant the world and when it came to them they were a team.

"A scare? What happened? Why wasn't I paged?" she pulled away and looked up into his tired eyes.

"Her fever spiked…we just had to bring it down. She is asleep right now," Derek took his wife's hand and guided her away from the OR and down the hall a ways to their daughter's room.

Meredith walked in and headed straight towards Lilly's bed and felt her forehead,

"She isn't warm at all," she whispered to Derek.

"Yeah, fever broke twenty or so minutes ago," Derek walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Where are the boys?" Meredith asked him leaning against his chest.

"Alex took them. I decided it would be best for us to stay with Lilliana for the night and it wouldn't be fair to bunk them up in the on call room," Derek told her.

Meredith nodded silently before kicking off her shoes and quietly getting up on her daughters bed and wrapping her up in her arms. Lilly stirred just for a moment before settling into her mothers embrace. Meredith kissed the top of her head and closes her eyes allowing for the complete exhaustion creeping up on her to take over.

Derek gave a small sigh of relief. If Lilly's fever stayed away and she kept up on antibiotics they would most likely be able to take her home tomorrow just in time for Thanksgiving the day after that.

Grabbing a chair he pulled it around the other side of his daughter's bed and made sure her IV was working correctly before settling into the chair with his feet propped up and falling asleep.

* * *

"Uncle Alex?" Alex stood in the Shepherd's kitchen looking through their cabinets…

_Come on I know they have cereal _Alex thought.

"Uncle Alex!" Kieran screamed from upstairs.

"Hold on!" Alex screamed over his shoulder.

How Meredith and Derek handled three kids he wasn't sure. The boys had woken up at the ass crack of dawn and then gotten him up. It had taken a half hour of them jumping on the bed for him to finally get up and now he stood in the kitchen trying to figure out where the hell Meredith and Derek kept the damn cereal.

Finally finding the cereal in the very last cupboard he put the box on the counter and ran up the stairs where Kieran sat still in his pajamas in his crib where Alex had taken him. He was surprised the two year old hadn't gotten out again like he had this morning.

"Let's get dressed and eat before Aunt Izzie comes over and we all get in trouble," Alex said quickly dressing the toddler and carrying him out into the hall.

"Andrew! Breakfast!" He bellowed not sure where the eldest Shepherd was.

"Uh…ok," he heard from downstairs.

Alex didn't know when Andy had gone downstairs…jogging down the stairs with Kieran bouncing on his arm; he walked into the kitchen just in time to see Andy on a chair reaching for bowls.

"No, no, no, no," Alex said grabbing Andy around the waist and swinging him onto the floor.

"Your mother would kill me if you fell and had to be put in the bed next to your sister," Alex told the boy as ruffled his unruly curls.

Putting Kieran in his high chair he poured three bowls of cereal and went to the refrigerator to get the milk. Looking into the giant fridge he didn't see any milk,

"Where's the milk?" he asked the room.

"Lilly drank the last of it a week ago," Andy replied as he got into his chair.

"Shit!" Alex exclaimed closing the door.

Kieran giggled,

"Shit!" he echoed.

"No! No!" Alex ran over to the young boy and covered his mouth.

"Don't say that," he said bending down to be eye level with the toddler. Kieran smiled,

"Shit!" he said again. Alex just looked at him…maybe this wasn't a big deal in the scheme of things but once the dust settled and their two year old was still cussing Meredith and Derek might be mad.

"Ok…so no milk…which means…" Alex grabbed the three bowls and took them over to the sink and turning on the faucet he put all three under the water filling the bowels with water.

Setting them in front of the boys, Andy looked up at him disgusted,

"Ewww," he said.

"Nah, its good I used to eat it like this all the time," Alex said leaning against the counter taking a spoon full.

Andy picked his spoon up hesitantly and took a bite shuddering. Alex shrugged his shoulders and turned towards the direction of the front door when he heard keys.

"Hello?" Izzie called walking into the kitchen.

"Aunt Izzie!" Andy exclaimed.

"Can we have muffins?"

"I still can't believe you were feeding them….cereal water," Izzie said as she and Alex stood at the kitchen sink cleaning dishes.

"There wasn't any milk," Alex defended.

"Then make them toast," Izzie countered.

"Not after I searched for that cereal for twenty minutes," Alex frowned. Izzie shook her head a small smile on her face.

Four hours later Alex sat on the Shepherds couch asleep while Izzie played connect four with Andy and Kieran watched Scooby Doo.

Alex's head raised as he heard the garage door open.

"Someone is home," Izzie told Andy as he got up and walked towards the garage door. Meredith walking in carrying the bag she had packed for Lilly followed by Derek with Lilly in his arms her face hidden in his shoulder.

"Lilly!" Andy exclaimed.

"Lilly?" Alex looked at Izzie confused.

Meredith sat her daughter's bag down and picked Andy up hugging him tightly.

Walking into the family room, Andy turned his head towards his sister.

"Are you better?" he asked. The little girl shook her head,

"Only half," she replied.

"Only half?" Izzie asked as she took Andy from Meredith and sat him down and turning back to her friend and hugging her.

"Her right lung is clear," Derek answered going up the stairs to his daughter's room to put her to bed.

"Oh," Izzie nodded and turned to Alex who was now standing.

"Well, we'll go then. I'll call you tonight," Izzie said taking her fiancé's hand.

"Oh, guys you are the best. I honestly and completely think I would be at a loss without you," Meredith hugged both and saw them to the door before returning to the family room.

"Shit!" she heard Kieran giggle.

* * *

"Daddy I want to play," Lilly told him as she sat propped against pillows and Derek measured out her medicine.

"Not until you are 110 better," he told her bringing the small plastic cup over to her bed and handing it to her. Lilly shuttered and plugged her nose like George had taught her that morning before tipping her head back and gulping down the medicine.

"Ok, all done for a couple hours," Derek told her taking the cup from her and setting it on her dresser.

Derek turned to put some dolls away in Lilly's closet when he noticed Meredith leaning against the door frame.

"Hi Mommy," Lilly said. She had been much livelier since coming home.

"Hey Miss Lilly," Meredith responded.

"Boys in bed?" Derek asked.

Meredith nodded and walked over to Lillian's bed. Taking the pillows from out behind her she laid the little girl down.

"Ok baby tomorrow is a busy day so I need you to get a goodnight sleep,"

The little girl nodded.

"Goodnight sweetheart," Derek bent down and kissed her forehead before turning and joining Meredith as the door.

Switching off the light Meredith walked into the hall. Derek took her hand.

Meredith didn't know she could love four people as much as she did, but it was an all consuming love that would never fade.

Turning around she wrapped her arms around Derek and they stood there in the middle of the dark hallway arms wrapped around each other.

"Everyone is home," Derek whispered holding her so tightly he was afraid she wouldn't be able to breathe.

Meredith nodded silently. Slowly Derek scooped her up and carried her into the room where they would be able to finally sleep in their bed together for the first time in three days.

* * *

It took me forever…I know… but I do have an excuse…..I got all my finals done and all my big papers out of the way but then my Word suddenly stopped opening up…yeah I don't know why…it doesn't open and freezes my computer…my new computer I might add…so right now I'm feeling kinda screwed. But I was able to use my brothers computer once I got home (that didn't go over well…the whole trying to convince him to use it thing) so I could finish this up. A few more chapters or so…I'm not sure when I will get the chance to write again with the holidays and all but I will update again ASAP. Thanks every one for being so patient.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!!

Loti


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Nope…not mine.

* * *

Meredith pulled the green cashmere sweater over her head as she heard the door bell ring.

"I got it!" Andy yelled from downstairs.

"Andrew! Check out the curtain first!" Meredith warned from her room as she walked out into the hallway and to the landing that overlooked the entry way all the while trying to fasten one of the diamond earrings Derek and the kids had gotten her for mother's day.

"Happy Thanksgiving Mere!" Izzie lifted what must have been a twenty-five pound turkey sitting in a metal cooking sheet up to show her, Alex reached from behind her and took the bird with ease as he nodded his head toward her and with Andy wrapped around his leg made his way to the kitchen.

"Happy Thanksgiving Iz. Andy! Get off Alex!" Meredith called as the two entered the kitchen.

"I'll be right down," Meredith said over her shoulder as she walked back into her room.

"Oh, well I'm going to come up and see Lilly," Izzie told her as she dropped her purse, jacket and scarf on the waiting arms of the coat hanger standing beside her and made her way upstairs.

Meredith fastened the second earring in her ear and examined herself in the mirror. Not bad from a surgeon and mother of three…she guessed…

Turning to look out her door she was startled by Derek leaning in the door frame.

"What?" she asked looking at him a smirk on her face. Derek broke out in a smile…the smile that made her melt,

"I just couldn't take my eyes off of the most beautiful woman in the world," he walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"You are so full of shit Derek Shepherd," Meredith slapped his chest lightly.

"I love you Meredith," Derek pulled her back into his embrace and tilted his head down touching his forehead with hers,

"I love you too," Meredith whispered wrapping her arms around him and lifting her lips towards his lingering just a second before pulling away and turning to slip on her shoes.

"You're horrible," Derek sighed stepping back and sitting on their bed.

Meredith laughed and turned around stepping into the space between his knees. Bringing her head down she lifted his face and kissed him deeply.

When they ended the kiss both gasping for air Derek reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind his wife's ear,

"We have guests," Meredith warned with a smile.

"So…" Derek started only to be interrupted by Meredith who giggled and turned away giving herself a final once over in the mirror before walking out of the room only to stop half way out of the door and turn to look at her husband giving him a sly smile before disappearing out of the room.

"How did it end up being our house is the one where Thanksgiving is?" he asked himself.

* * *

"Do we have anymore?" Cristina asked George waving her empty wine glass at him.

George who was sitting at the Shepherd's coffee table with Kieran and Jason playing with a stuffed batman and superman looked up at her,

"Uh…Callie and I brought to bottles of Merlot…ask her where she put it," he told her before turning back to the game he had been pulled from.

Christina walked into the kitchen to see her husband help Izzie pull a perfect turkey out of the oven, Meredith throw a tomatoe destined for the salad she was tossing at Alex's head who stood with Derek mashing potatoes and Andy helping Callie make cranberry sauce.

Letting a small smile grace her face she spotted the two bottles of alcohol behind Callie and made her way over to them.

"Oh no you don't," Callie slapped Cristina's outreached hand away.

"That's for dinner," was all she said before turning back to Andy. Frowning Cristina turned and went to the other side of the kitchen jumping on the counter next to Meredith.

"Hey," Meredith greeted not looking up from the salad she was tossing.

"Hi," Cristina spun the wine glass around in her hands looking around the kitchen and glancing out into the family room where George, her son, and the youngest Shepherd sat.

"How did we get here?" She asked her best friend, her confidant, her sister.

Meredith looked up at her and smiled,

"Hell if I know…we're lucky though,"

Cristina nodded and grabbed a cucumber out of the bowl before jumping down and walking over to her husband and Izzie.

* * *

Grabbing the baby monitor Derek took it out of the kitchen and sat it on the end table next to the couch on his way upstairs.

Peaking his head around the door he looked around the lavender room until his eyes fell on his daughter, her long hair a curtain around her face as she bent over brushing her dolls own hair.

"So…do I need to go get the tangle comb?" Derek asked as he walked into the room referring to the comb Meredith used every time Lilly's hair got tangled and unmanageable.

Lilly looked down at her doll's sleek hair and gave a small giggle,

"No Daddy," she answered

"Ok, good," Derek paused "How about we put some socks on and go down stairs to see everyone and have dinner?" He asked brushing some of her hair out of her eyes.

Lilly nodded. Since being home she had been much more active and every time he or Meredith had come to check on her throughout the day she had been lively and talkative.

"Great…because I have someone's favorite waiting," Derek said casually reaching into the little girls dresser to pull out a pair of socks.

"Turkey cut up into the potatoes?" Lilly asked her head had shot up following him around the room.

"Yup," Derek answered taking one of her tiny feet and slipping a sock on it.

* * *

Meredith sat at the table making sure Andy and Kieran were situated. Andy sat next to Jason and across from her and Kieran sat towards the end of the table in his high chair in between George and Alex. Next to her were two empty seats one for her daughter and the other for Derek.

Meredith looked up as Derek entered the dinning room carrying Lilly who had her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

"Hey Lilly!" the room greeted her. Lilly smiled and waved as she was put down in the chair next to Meredith and Derek stood in front of his seat grabbing the carving knife and fork.

"Happy Thanksgiving everyone," he said as he began to carve the bird.

Meredith looked from his handsome face to each of her friends smiling faces as they talked animatedly amongst themselves, at their children: Jason the perfect mix of both his parents, Andy who she knew would grow up to do something amazing, Kieran who made her laugh even at the age of two, and then Lilly who at the age of three was a hero to not only herself but Meredith as well a child so bright and happy Meredith was in awe of her.

She loved them all and even though in twenty-four hours it may not seem like it after a bad day at the hospital or another one of those weeks where nothing seemed to go right; she had this place in time, these people…this…this was perfection…absolute perfection.

* * *

So that's it….questions comments? Hahaha Any way….I had fun writing this one but it was time to end it. I'm going to start a new story soon as soon as I work it all out and plan it….who knows how it will go… hahahahaha. Ok well I hope you enjoyed Perfect. I'd really like to know what you all thought it is always wonderful to hear from you. Hope everyone is having a great holiday season and that everyone has a safe and happy New Year!!

Loti


End file.
